Friday, 21 March 2014

'Cause I Remember It All Too Well

This post is inspired by Taylor Swift's song titled All Too Well. I don't know if this post has any relations whatsoever with the song, I was just driven to write something after I listened to it.

Sometimes I got really emotional over something unimportant. Or something bad that I remembered. Don't you just hate the fact that you are able to remember bad things better than the good ones?? Freaking annoying. I think that is why we learn lessons more on bad experiences than the good ones.

I will write a piece about love, this time. If you're currently scrolling your eyes after reading the previous sentence, I suggest you to immediately leave this page and go browsing for some more interesting sites. I will (maybe) whine a lot here. I will complain a lot, too. If you stay, I appreciate your visit and your willingness to spend some minutes of your precious time to read my writings. Especially with these very long introduction.

Well, sometimes I hate my ability to remember bad things, bad memories, bad experiences, bad embarrassing moments. I just ain't able to let it out of my mind. The worst usually comes when I face my Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. Not only I am emotional in default but also very sensitive. Especially when it comes to my romantic life.

I hate that I can love each person differently. I mean when I had a relationship with a guy, I would be loving each of them differently. I might be very indifferent at once, but very protective the other time. Sometimes it's contradictive, sometimes it's similar. It's an agony to be very insecure. It's nightmare.

Have you ever loves someone so so much you even think it's better for you to let go? I had this scary thought sometimes. I'm very afraid of getting hurt and being rejected, I even consider being alone is better. I believed it's better for me to hurt myself than letting other people do it instead. The other scary thing is that we never know if our decision is right or wrong. Life keeps surprising.

Sometimes I feel dumb. I mean, I know I'm not a stupid human being but this love thing always has a way to fool me. I'm being used. I'm betrayed. I'm tricked. I'm trapped. And I don't have any slightest idea how to get off of this. It hurts my pride, it defeats my dignity. I'm a loser.

I forgive again and again but I never forget. I think I'm very dumb at this because I (am able to) love a boy too much I always forgive him after doing the same mistake over and over again. Some of you call it loyalty, some might think it's stupidity. I don't know.

I'm suddenly out of words. This is bad. I must work on my next posts. Catch you later, people.
Have a nice weekend!